by Dan Kennedy
If Steve Pellson wasn’t such a manic slob with a penchant for drinking anything that isn’t immediately bussed from neighboring tables, we would’ve had the party somewhere nicer.
Ask Angie in accounting how her acting auditions are going – then sit back and enjoy her thirty-minute diatribe on co-dependency, fate, how she knows she’s unique, and why she prefers being single.
Almost everyone at this company has fantasized about sleeping with almost everyone else and never done it. It’s like a passive version of Fleetwood Mac without the fame or money.
Just for fun, ask everyone at your table to pick an animal that they think they are most like. If you’re sitting with Tim Reid from the New Media Dept. – please make sure that the animal he picks is called a “Total narcissistic jerk off”.
Oh, Steve Pelson. You have finally eaten and drank your way to the fate of a bloated knight who sits idle at a feast unwittingly waiting to be descended upon by his nemesis.
If I may venture an opinion – I would think employees like Angie would experience incredible personal growth as a result of termination. She is clearly an actor – NOT an accountant.
If you are reading this it means we have been served cookies and coffee. And Tim Reid has undoubtedly started wooing those seated near him with his ‘the internet is still vital’ speech. Hooray for Tim’s table mates.
You’ve worked in the sales department for six years. You’re tired in ways I can’t describe. If I might try some poetry: Empty and well paid/dead here/a thin layer of denial/keeping you going.
